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If mama don't know...

What if your only job was to have a great life?

This phrase is on some of our print material at Accomplishment Coaching, the organization where I am a Mentor Coach and Leader. I’ve always been drawn to the idea that my only job could be to have a great life, but my skeptic “knows” that’s not really how life works…

I understood the phrase in a new way the other day. Last week my mom, now Grandma to 3 year-old ‘L’ and 1 year-old ‘M’, asked about my business; said she hadn’t heard much about it lately. I paused for a moment. I know myself to be very engaged with my clients, my business development and my ongoing leadership training. There’s a lot going on and I haven’t been sharing it with my mama?! If my mama don’t know, who else might not know what being in business for myself and growing my coaching practice at the same time I’m growing my family has made possible?

Four years ago (to date?) I left a position I’d earned by way of my Masters degree in International Education to pursue a career as a Life Coach. My business hours are spent networking with fellow entrepreneurs, mamapreneurs, fellow coaches, and with my clients who are fulfilling their dreams. By traveling the world, growing their families, expanding their businesses, surpassing fitness and financial goals, and pursuing lifelong creative endeavors, they are creating and experiencing more space for joy, power and love. I give a good portion of my time to the Accomplishment Coaching Coaches Training Program in cities across the country where the participants are doing the same and more.

photo by Gabriella Hunt

All of this is powerful stuff. It is fulfilling, emotionally uplifting, and often draining. When my husband and I left the security of our jobs to play a bigger game of life, we also recognized the need to cast a wider net of support. In the first 12 months we built a village consisting of other new parents, fellow coaches and business owners, clients, and friends who support with childcare and household management. Every one of these people is a stand for ‘J’, ‘L’, ‘M’ and me to live this great life, and they are committed to great lives themselves.

I realized that I’ve integrated my work as a coach with my life as a woman, a wife, and a mom in such a way that there isn’t much to complain about.

So why don’t I talk about my business very much? I realized that I’ve integrated my work as a coach with my life as a woman, a wife, and a mom in such a way that there isn’t much to complain about. When I put on my coach hat to work with my clients I don’t have to take off or cover up my mom cape. When I’m with my son and daughter, keeping the coach hat on actually makes the outfit work — and the high heels this business owner wears bring me closer — not farther — to my 6'5" husband. It is because of my work as a coach and heart-based leadership advocate that you hear me spill the messy secrets of motherhood during networking meetings or celebrate a client’s win (anonymously!) at that pool party. It’s because of the ongoing support I request from my coach and my teams that I have reinvented my partnership with my husband, that we dared to move to Rochester, NY and it’s how I keep choosing to fly across country to San Diego despite my new sweet babes at home. It’s because of my work as a coach and entrepreneur that you can find me getting client referrals at 8am, at the gym at 3pm and the movies at 5pm! But if mama don’t know…there’s another level for me to bring. More authenticity. More vulnerability. More truth. More me.

So there’s a lot of great….and this morning a friend asked me what if I’d never become a coach?…While four years is a short time compared to the time I’ve known my husband, pursued a career, built an identity and relationship to myself, I’ve lived more fully in EVERY area of my life in those four years than I have since I was a child. Since before I learned the world wasn’t safe and set up rules for how I’d survive anyway. In the last four years I’ve taken down the walls and I live my life with access to same the joy, the spirit, and the unconditional love I see my kids know.

I still confess to caring that people like me, don’t judge me as too outspoken, boastful, fortunate, imposing, confident or whatever, but that neediness doesn’t run the show anymore. In my work to drum out the noise from the voice telling me I don’t deserve a great life, a new one stepped to say “yea, but now that you have one, don’t let too many people know, they might get uncomfortable, so why don’t you tone it down a little, sweetie…” Record scratch! — Wait, wha? They might get uncomfortable? No. They WILL get uncomfortable. Like I do, many women my age carry more than our emotional load. I know because I talk to them about it in depth every day. Some may judge me as too outspoken, boastful, fortunate, imposing, or whatever, and others will be curious, proud, inspired, motivated, or sign up for some transformation of their own.

Left with nothing to complain about, I haven’t been sharing the good stuff!

Guess what, mama?! I have a great life!

I’m a stand for us to bankrupt our complaints and the stories that we can’t or we shouldn’t. And I’m a coach for every human — especially mothers — who are willing to. Who are ready to stretch our hearts, open our mouths, and access our creative power.

That’s the path toward greatness and to having great lives!

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